Charlize Week 2: As Simple as That
Just thinking about the future is exhausting…rehearsal one day and a presentation the next; don’t forget about the unit test on Friday! Having this stress keeps me on my toes, but not when I internally sigh while pondering about future events that I still have so much time to prepare for.
One day when I was complaining about a sudden influx of assignments to my alumni friend DragonT, he told me one thing.
“Just don’t stress ez.”
Thanks a lot man.
Wait, he’s not wrong though...?
I’ve honestly never thought about it that way, so I was a bit shocked. It’s not like I haven’t considered shutting down my thoughts, but when it’s by my own accord, there’s always something in the back of my mind going like, “but your test is in two weeks?! If it doesn’t occupy your mind every hour you’re going to completely forget to study” or “the audition for this thing is coming up later—start practicing now or you’re going to be even more stressed in the coming days!” The truth is though, if I keep thinking about things in the future without working on something, I’m still wasting my time doing nothing and worrying about it. Talk about a double whammy…
I think just hearing it from a different person made me reconsider things. Not that I necessarily trust someone else more than myself, but if I’m panicking over things in the not-so-close future, my own judgment likely isn’t the best. It’s also not like he said some crazy statement that caused a transcendental experience, but I’ve come to realize it really is as simple as “just don’t stress”. My own irrational alarm bells get to turn off with a voice of reason; an anchor of logical thought allows me to reevaluate the situation because knowing myself, I probably wouldn’t have let a situation get to the point where I’m too heavily burdened by it.
One thing to note is that we’re polar opposites personality-wise. I’d consider myself somewhat sociable and an optimist to a certain extent, while he doesn’t engage in much small talk and often believes in the worst. Actually, if he was overwhelmed with work, I think he’d be even more stressed than I am. But his laid-back attitude towards life contrasting my perfectionist mindset means he doesn’t try to take everything as seriously. Days are going to pass by whether I anticipate or dread them. While I definitely can’t just strip away these worries and completely relax because they spawn from my values, hearing these words definitely made my thoughts easier to process. Or maybe I’m just very easily influenced by others. Whatever the case is, I do feel much more relieved nowadays, so thanks again Dragon.
Just in general though, I’m grateful for having friends that act like contrarians to whatever I say, even if it’s a joke. It’s always nice to hear a different opinion from a fresh perspective and get hit with some enlightening statements that rewire my brain. For me at least, one of the best feelings ever is being flabbergasted with a truth that I’ve just never considered.
Last Friday's pep band rehearsal. Smile more often you bum.
Thanks for showing up though (and for letting me post this)!
Hi Charlize! I relate to this blog on so many levels, as I too am guilty of constantly stressing about the future and feeling some sort of void in myself if I don’t. I feel like it’s so difficult for me to not stress—especially with the taxing pressures of junior year—and I find it hard to relinquish my need to control every little thing in my life. For me, I think worrying is my version of a defense mechanism; it’s like my brain thinks that stressing about things in the distant future is the same as putting in actual preparation, even though it’s really not. However, I find comfort in the saying that everything always happens for a reason and works out in the end, as it reminds me that maybe I can let myself relax, even if just for a little.
ReplyDeleteThinking about the future is scary... maybe I should try simply not stressing. In all honesty, though, I have come to a similar realization recently. Even when my assignments pile up and it feels that now is finally the time when it all comes crashing down, it's useful to be able to rationalize my thoughts before I freak out. I also really loved your point about friends who act as contrarians. It's easy to fall into a social circle that agrees with everything you say—effectively an echo chamber—which greatly limits the perspectives you are exposed to. Just as you may not have had this revelation if your friend hadn't held a different view than you, it's important not only to acknowledge but to engage with many different ideas with an open mind, no matter how simple or strange they may seem.
ReplyDeleteYour line, “wasting my time doing nothing and worrying about it”, truthfully, hit me like a brick. With the 5 AP classes I’m taking this year as well as the stress of the SAT, extracurriculars, beginning to consider colleges, and not to mention maintaining social relationships and remembering to drink water (yes, you), work piles up often quicker than I can clear it. It would be so easy, and it is, to just stress and stress and stress until I reach my breaking point and stop altogether. But, like you mentioned in your blog, sometimes I just have to learn to let go--let go of stress, of certain activities that aren’t the priority. “One foot in front of the other” is something I believe all of us should keep in mind at all times, because sometimes it's so incredibly easy to get lost in the concept of working that we forget to work at all.
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