Shriram | Week 2 | Your Eyeballs Won't Change, It's The Muscles Around Your Eyes
Very rarely do I dwell on song lyrics. I absolutely appreciate lyricism as it goes by, but more often than not I focus largely on the sound of a song rather than its meaning. Recently, however, a line in The Strokes’ First Impressions of Earth struck a particular chord, one that reminded me of a friend: “your eyeballs won’t change, it’s the muscles around your eyes.”
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| the eyes can be beautiful, but they aren't everything. |
Years ago, I met a girl who was optimistic about everything. Contrasting my relative pessimism, she would have a positive remark or quip on hand at every imaginable situation: if you fail a test, failure helps you grow, and whenever you do something you don’t enjoy, it makes that which you do enjoy all the sweeter. I have always had immense respect for anybody who lives with such a positive mindset; nevertheless, I wondered how someone could be so persistent amidst stress both in and outside of school. It seemed almost unreal.
One day, however, after a particularly troubling event, she admitted to me what I had partially suspected to be the case—all this optimism was simply not true to her character, but she figured it would be best to present an optimistic image so that it would reflect better on herself. In all honesty, she complained, her view of things was quite grim, but she thought that people wouldn’t like her if they knew so. Personally, I viewed her optimism as remarkable, but after learning it was a facade, my view of her identity didn’t shatter; in fact, it only grew in depth. After it was brought to my attention, the way she acted remained unchanged, yet the perceived context was entirely different. I took notice of the muscles around her eyes—the stress, the worry, the anger—and, no matter what happened, the very real resilience behind it all.
Many others face similar situations: whether they are afraid of vulnerability or want to fit in with others, they may present themselves differently from how they truly feel, hiding particular traits from others and—detrimentally—from themselves. Whether we wish to be or not, all of us are indeed affected by these feelings, and it is necessary to seriously consider them. From an outside perspective, it is also important to recognize that even though others may not fully express themselves, we are not bystanders in this situation. Outwardly showing support for a loved one can go a long way in helping them open up, even if just barely. Their eyeballs may not seem to change—but paying closer attention can often reveal the details hiding in plain sight: the muscles around their eyes.
And for ourselves, it’s nice to let others look into ours once in a while.
Hi Shriram! I think that it’s so true that people often put on a front to “protect” their image. It’s interesting that in this case, it was optimism; typically, people around our age tend to adopt a sense of indifference or nonchalance. I have to admit that I am also guilty of disguising my emotions: rarely does the way I carry myself outwardly match exactly with the state of my mind internally. Also, I loved the way you portrayed the human eye as an indication of peoples’ true feelings; as someone who gets intimidated by holding direct eye contact with people for more than five seconds, I guess I never really noticed that the area surrounding the eyes can reveal so much about what someone is actually going through. Your description makes me want to pay more attention to those little cues that give away more than we might expect.
ReplyDeleteHi Shriram! I wholeheartedly support embracing inner identity, however, I personally think it's more challenging than people make it seem because of the judgment that may come with embracing your full personality. In the public eye, it's difficult to go outside of your comfort zone especially when society only allows certain personality traits to be acceptable, such as being “nonchalant” or “chalant” (certain traits may associate with different genders). I also think that the fear of being judged is very daunting, and as a result, people who want to appear likeable by everyone make the biggest sacrifices in order to achieve their goal. In that way, I think it's reasonable that your friend portrays herself as optimistic even though deep down she doesn't truly feel that way. Unless a miracle happens, social standards aren't changing anytime soon, and unfortunately many people will feel pressured to hide their true selves under a template. Thank you Shriram for this insightful post, and the symbolism comparing identity to eyes was very creative!
ReplyDeleteWoww I love The Strokes too! My favorite album by them is The New Abnormal, which is besides the point…
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting anecdote; I think most everyone has that person in their life that remains optimistic despite any (and all) failures. I’ve never considered it like this—that optimism can be, taken to the extreme, a coping mechanism. Unfortunately, failure is a prerequisite for evolution and growth, and so, as the cliche adage goes, there will eventually be a single success among one thousand failures. Or something. I definitely prefer someone who’s optimistic through any situation, rather than someone who’s able to find flaws in every situation. My grandmother, for example, has rather prominent wrinkles around her eyes, and that tells me how happy of a life she must have lived. What a privilege it must be to age and have your life’s story etched onto your face, I thought. Great blog, Shriram ((:
“Masking” is a phenomenon I come across far too often, both in my peers and in myself. In a world of judging books by their covers, the stress of the consequences of not having a conventionally “good” cover leads many people to fabricate their own. I think it's important that we as a society bring to attention how common and destructive masking is to a person and what we can do to support those who do mask. The ability of your friend to actually recognize her conscious optimism as a cover for her more innate pessimism is quite commendable; it’s something I and many others have to learn to develop as well.
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