Tanya | Week 3 | Maybe My Mother Was Right
Maybe My Mother Was Right
I wouldn’t exactly call myself superstitious. At least, that is what I like to tell myself. My mom has always been proudly superstitious; for as long as I can remember, she has given me a dirty look every time that I sneeze while she is talking about something important, or when we are about to leave the house (apparently, this is seen as a jinx in her eyes). This is a rather common occurrence too, because unfortunately, I am incredibly allergic. When I was little, I always used to shake my head at my mom when she got annoyed at a black cat crossing the road in front of us, or when she brought up the evil eye yet again. And yet, in spite of all of my skepticism, I could never cut my nails past sunset, and I could never put a plant directly next to my bed.
These habits that I’ve noticed in myself are automatic—almost like a reflex. Somewhere along the way, those same habits that I once dismissed as silly and old-fashioned managed to embed their way into my everyday routines, and in such a subtle manner that I didn’t even notice that they had become part of who I am. I am someone who believes in the importance of working hard, because no miracle can save the day if I haven’t proven that I’m worthy of one. If you work hard, you get the results you want, and vice versa. It’s really that simple. However, I can spend ten hours studying for a math test, and I will still find myself taking out two pencils beforehand, just in case one of them breaks. Does that little action have any effect at all on whether I perform well on the test or not? No, probably not. But the act of doing it anyway—ridiculous as it is—does something anyway. It’s a tiny, secret little acknowledgment that while I will never be able to fully control everything, I can still do something to feel prepared.
And I think that’s the appeal of it. Superstitions don’t really make sense; they aren’t magic, they aren’t science, or even strategy. However, they do count for something, because they manage to offer me a tiny sense of control when everything else feels so far out of reach. They might not help me change the outcome of a situation, but they can help me change my perception and confidence. I was never able to understand my mom’s beliefs before, because I used to think that these superstitions were about trying to increase my luck, or about trying to bargain with the universe. I thought that by giving into them, I was giving away my sense of control. Now, I am able to see that they are more about reminding me that even in the most uncertain of situations, the control was always guaranteed to remain mine.
Hey Tanya! I truly relate with this blog—even though there are certain things my mom warns me against, I’ll always because if her fear’s gone, I’ll feel more at ease as well. Taking out two pencils is so real too, or even my whole case of lead because honestly it’s become a ritual at that point. The sense of reassurance always calms my nerves and rids my mind of unnecessary concerns because there are more important things to think about. People love to do things to calm themselves during times of stress, no matter how silly it may seem. Hope is powerful, which is precisely why the placebo effect exists. But hey—if it works, it works!
ReplyDeleteHi Tanya! I totally agree! Listening to your mom’s superstitions can be disrupting especially at times when it seems totally normal, such as when you sneeze during a conversation. I also never knew that cutting your nails after sunset could be considered bad luck! I can definitely relate with you because my mom had some questionable superstitions, such as never to sleep with your feet facing the wall or to frog blink repeatedly because she believed those were signs of bad luck or evil. No matter how ridiculous these superstitions may seem, even though we may not completely agree with some, it’s nice to have a sense of direction and habit on what we do. I think that’s one of the reasons why organizers and agendas are so appealing to us as well, though obviously not quite to the same extent as superstition. It really makes me wonder: are Plan A type people more superstitious than Plan B type people since they typically organize every part of their day-to-day lives? Does this also apply to your mom? It’s so fascinating to see how people organize their lives and their beliefs as a result, whether they are based on scientific research or solely on superstitions. Thank you Tanya for this interesting blog!
ReplyDeleteSimilar to what you said, my parents are much more superstitious than I am. I also used to be rather annoyed every time my mom insisted on knocking on wood or (just like how your mother did) told me that I can’t cut my nails when it’s dark out. I think your perception of superstitions as ways in which we can control at least a small part of our environment is really interesting, as it isn’t something that I’ve heard before. However, I also do still think about the fact that my mom’s superstitions may be true—after all, I’m fortunate enough to live rather comfortably in a house with my own room and go to school every day. While I am not fully convinced, I’ve recently become more open to participating in these superstitions. I think it’s also similar to the placebo effect: if I believe that something will make me feel better, it just might.
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