Charlize Week 4: Something Inherently Beautiful
Another drawing tossed. Something felt off; maybe it was the balance of the colors?
Another photo deleted. Something looked off; maybe it was the composition of elements?
Another composition never played again. Something sounded off; maybe it was the harmony of notes?
It’s all just so… ugly. Whatever, let’s try again tomorrow. Or the day after…
And it’s just a shame.
You start to lose the familiar touch of drawing with a pencil, replaced by the firm grip of your calloused hands used to take notes. Your pieces of cloth and needles are nowhere to be found, buried under piles of papers and notebooks. Your worn-out sketchbooks are falling apart, your once cherished guitar is dusty, and your beloved camera's out of battery. Your ideas, once ripe and ready to manifest into the real world, are now forever lost into your consciousness, never to exist again.
Again and again you tell yourself the same phrase.
“But I’m busy!”
An excuse that seems to justify your inability to act on your creative passions.
As you feel more and more soulless, remember you’re also letting a fundamental part of yourself wither away. Flowers bloom and die in your mind, perpetually stuck as unrealized dreams. People are born to consume and create; minds are always pondering and tinkering and conjuring. Why are you letting the stars that once lit up your world fade into nothingness? No one’s ever going to precisely feel or see what you’re perceiving—your experience as an irreplaceable existence will always have something beautiful to share. The creative ideas suppressed in your mind won’t be of any sustenance unless you bring it to life. Present your art to the people, exhibit your love to the universe, but most importantly, do it for yourself.
And I’m most definitely a hypocrite for saying all of this.
I, myself, have used that same excuse so many times. When was the last time I picked up a pencil to draw the things I loved so dearly? All the references I saved for inspiration—ones where I could clearly imagine how I’d try to capture every detail on a canvas—have become nothing more than pictures for me to stare at. And there’s still the many assignments, more pressing matters that require my attention, bigger fish to fry! The lion does not concern himself with calculus and chemistry…
I’ll try a little harder for poster projects and assigned comic strips just to relish the contentment I feel from doodling around, but it can’t—nothing can—replicate the feeling of carefree bliss of immersing yourself in the art experience.
So go on. Fulfill your obligation to the world, the very one that deserves to behold the beauty you’re capable of creating. The universe won’t wait for you to fill your heart again. But it will lovingly embrace everything you have to show to it.
Most gorgeous succulent I've ever laid my eyes upon. Remember to water your plants, in this case, your dying creative dreams!
Fun fact: many beloved artists today died thinking they were failures. Franz Kafka, for instance, instructed his friend to burn all of his work upon his death. But we don’t think Kafka is a failure; quite the opposite, really—we celebrate, discuss, and debate his work even today. The special thing about art is that it only really exists inside your head (at least, until you bring it out). I think that our obsession with perfection, our obsession with making art perfect on the first try is part of what makes the wall between thinking and starting so tall. We think that if we make art, it has to be perfect: however, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Even “bad” art is still good, because it proves not only that we’re human, but that there’s room to improve. Imperfection is human, and I’d sooner consume an entire galaxy of bad art than none at all.
ReplyDeleteThe lion does not concern himself with the coefficient of static friction… he would much rather spend hours editing beautiful photos! The message of this blog has become increasingly relevant to me recently. I’m afraid of losing my touch in taking photos, as I haven’t in a while. I’m afraid that I’m not as good at playing the tabla (a drum instrument!) as I was a long time ago. I truly am busy, but I find that the fear of not performing well is also oftentimes a deterrent. I love the point you make about the fact that the most important aspect of making art is that you do it for yourself, regardless if others like it or not. I think that’s a valuable lesson to learn that allows many more to truly see the joys of creating. I also really enjoy the intro of your blog, I think it is a very engaging one.
ReplyDeleteI too, as a science major, often neglect my creative interests. Yes, I doodle stuff on my homework and notes, but tell me you *wouldn’t* do literally anything to keep yourself awake during the 84th minute of the implicit differentiation lecture. I tell myself, like you do, that “I’m too busy” and “I’ll have more time on the weekend” then said weekend comes and the emotional stress of needing to wake up at 11 am to eat breakfast and go back to sleep is too much for me. I used to daydream about picking up my guitar I haven’t played since I stopped classes 3 years ago and learning how to play and sing my favorite Laufey song, but my weekends are full of voluntary sleeping and frantic last-minute homework completion.
ReplyDeleteThe lion tells himself he would rather be doing 3D modelling practice in Onshape. The lion forgot how it felt to freely be creative.